Do hormone changes after 40 really wreck relationships?

What did @ricknetshiozwi_official actually say?

The creator claims that men over 40 experience "andropause," a male equivalent of menopause, involving testosterone drops, libido loss, cognitive changes, and mood swings. For women, he outlines three stages: pre-menopause (normal function), menopause (biological change and emotional questioning), and post-menopause (the hardest stage, characterized by women repeatedly asking if their partner loves them, rooted in feeling unsafe).

The relationship framing is where this video gets genuinely interesting, and genuinely complicated. He's trying to explain hormonally-driven emotional shifts to a lay audience in relational terms. That's not inherently wrong. But the execution mixes real endocrinology with some oversimplified, and at times inaccurate, storytelling about what women actually experience during menopause and why.

Does the science back this up?

Partly, yes. Testosterone does decline with age in men, and menopause is a real, well-documented biological transition. But the term "andropause" is contested, and the emotional portrait painted for menopausal women is reductive.

On the male side: testosterone levels fall roughly 1-2% per year after age 30, not in a sudden drop at 40. The American Urological Association defines hypogonadism as testosterone below 300 ng/dL with symptoms. Many men never hit clinical thresholds. Harman et al. (2001, Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism) tracked this decline in the Baltimore Longitudinal Study and found wide individual variation. Calling it "andropause" implies a universal, menopause-like event. Most endocrinologists push back on that framing.

On the female side: menopause is defined as 12 consecutive months without a period, typically between ages 45-55. The perimenopause phase, not "pre-menopause," is when estrogen becomes erratic. The North American Menopause Society notes that mood symptoms, anxiety, and relationship strain are well-documented during this transition. So the emotional questioning the creator describes has some biological basis. But his framing that post-menopause is primarily about women not feeling safe or loved reduces a complex hormonal and psychosocial experience to a single emotional narrative.

What did they get wrong (or right)?

Credit where it is due: the core premise that hormonal changes after 40 can affect mood, desire, and relationship dynamics is legitimate. Educating a general audience on this is useful, and the relational framing, while imperfect, is a real attempt to build empathy between partners.

But several things are off. First, the terminology. "Pre-menopause" is not a clinical stage of menopause. The correct term is perimenopause, which is when hormonal fluctuation actually begins and symptoms emerge. Calling normal reproductive years "pre-menopause" collapses a meaningful clinical distinction.

Second, the emotional narrative about post-menopause is the biggest problem. He says post-menopause is the hardest stage because women keep asking "does this man actually love me?" and frames it as universal. Post-menopausal women, once estrogen stabilizes, often report improved mood and reduced anxiety compared to perimenopause. Freeman et al. (2014, Menopause) found that depressive symptoms peak during the menopause transition, not necessarily after. Presenting post-menopause as uniformly the hardest stage is not what the data shows.

Third, "andropause" as a direct male parallel to menopause is an oversimplification. Unlike menopause, there is no single hormonal event in men. The Endocrine Society does not endorse "andropause" as a clinical term for this reason.

What should you actually know?

If you are over 40 and noticing changes in energy, mood, libido, or cognition, those experiences are real and worth taking seriously. They may or may not be hormone-related. That distinction matters because the treatment paths are different.

For men: if you suspect low testosterone, get a morning serum testosterone test on at least two separate occasions. Symptoms alone are not diagnostic. TRT is an option for clinically confirmed hypogonadism, but it is a medical decision with real tradeoffs including effects on fertility, red blood cell count, and cardiovascular risk. Do not self-diagnose based on a TikTok video.

For women: perimenopause can start in the early 40s and last years before the final menstrual period. Symptoms vary widely. Hormone therapy is an option for many women and has been significantly rehabilitated in clinical opinion since the early misreadings of the Women's Health Initiative data. Talk to a provider who specializes in menopause, not just a general practitioner who may be working from outdated guidelines.

The relational point the creator is reaching for is genuinely worth having: hormonal changes affect how people feel about themselves and their relationships, and partners who understand that context tend to navigate it better. But understanding requires accuracy, not just good intentions.